Pain and Suffering

Today I asked a been-there, done-that mom friend at what age your children no longer allow you to dress them in absolutely ridiculous things. This includes, but is not limited to,

· Halloween/carnival costumes that accentuate babies’ adorable rolls of fat

· Hats with animal ears

· Snow suits that have more bulkiness than the Michelin man

· Outfits that have cute things on the bum.

The question was prompted by a young child walking past me wearing a hat with birthday candles sticking up on top of it. Which she obviously thought was cool, although she was of an age where she could already walk, talk, think, and look in a mirror.

The answer I received was, although it of course varies from child to child, that children start revolting against humiliating articles of clothing and accessories at approximately 7 years of age.

Since I find that dressing my child in obnoxiously-cute-but-later-embarrassing pieces of clothing is one of the biggest perks of motherhood (making the late-night waking and months of titty-twisting torture almost bearable), I decided to use this venue to celebrate some of the more entertaining outfits of my life as a parent thus far.

Enjoy.

 
We call this one “The Human Bullet”.

 
Kim Jong Il in pink.

 
Not Dances with Wolves, but Cries with Lambs.

 
“I can’t put my arms down!!!”

The Michelin man.